after hemming and hawing for a few weeks now, i finally went and got inked, not once but twice.  the minimum for a small tattoo in nyc is crazy (all the places i looked at said $100), so i figured, aww, hell with it, let’s get two, and i’d say it paid off well enough.  the people at the parlour were so friendly and nice, and the guy was really good — there was hardly any pain; it felt irritating at most, ticklish at parts; but, all in all, it was pretty much pain-free, and i’m very happy with how both turned out.

on my left wrist is a map of the cities i visited in japan last summer, and on the right is the logo nell used in the trace.  one day, i might add “counting pulses” next to it because “counting pulses” is actually the original nell tattoo i planned on getting on my wrist.  :3

still constantly awestruck with how beautiful this skyline is — i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of this view.

first photo taken in jersey on thursday, second taken on governor’s island earlier today.

sigh, nyc, thanks for continuing to be kind to me.

went to something called figment festival on governor’s island today — there wasn’t much in terms of art (or such), most likely because it was raining like crazy yesterday and looked like it could rain again today, but it was fun moseying about with friends, standing in line for chicken and rice at a jamaican food truck, and just enjoying the weather because it turned out to be a beautiful day.

all in all, ‘twas a good saturday, i’d say.

made it to the rain room!  bought a moma membership for this (seriously), but moma has student discounts, and now i’ve got an excuse to go to moma often.  i don’t know; i’ve got this huge soft spot for moma; so i’m pretty happy about this.

queued for a little over 1.5 hours for this, which wasn’t bad at all considering that, the first time i tried to see the rain room, i got to moma at 11 a.m. and was told the line was 5 hours long.  bought a membership then and went back this morning by 9:45, and the queue went fast, and i got some writing and note-taking done whilst waiting, so consider me peachy!  also the weather today is wonderful — it’s lovely and cool and breezy — and i wish it would stay like this all summer, but i’m sure it won’t and the humidity will descend upon us again.

i’ve never been a fan of summer, and i’m still tweeting my hatred of summer as far as temperatures go everyday, but i do love the *feels* summer brings.  the city comes alive as people come back outdoors, and i love walking around and seeing all the restaurants and cafes with their windows and doors thrown open, crowded with people enjoying the sunshine and each other’s company, and there’s just so much to do here that it’s hard to be completely unhappy with the weather.

6 a.m. & 6 p.m. — and 1L finally, finally comes to a close.  this past academic year has been most miserable and most toxic, and i’m glad to see it go, good riddance.

now the real work begins — 5 weeks to get my book ready to be submitted!

6 a.m. brooklyn and 6 a.m. view of manhattan from my window because 6 a.m. and i are surprisingly and rapidly becoming chums.  (i like to wave good night to it as i’m going to bed, and it’s quite friendly in bidding me sweet dreams in return.)

i’ve been in a really bad funk the last week or so, and saturday through monday were particularly bad days, so, today, i decided to take an afternoon off and go see the cherry blossoms, which are in bloom in the brooklyn botanic garden.  it’s a beautiful day today with my idea of the perfect temperature, and it was sunny but cool, and the garden was free and just crowded enough, and all the flowers were in bloom — and, all in all, it was one of those healing afternoons where you can start to breathe easy again.

after a semester of nothing but angst, i made a few decisions re: life the last few days.  i’ve no idea how things will pan out, but, you know, you hit a point (or, at least, i do) when you get sick of the whining in your head, especially because, ultimately, your life is in your hands.  i hit that a while ago actually, and, as the academic year finally comes to a close, i’ve been thinking that, you know, you only get one life, and you should live it boldly because life is too short for fear.

so here we go — i’m still in flux, but that’s okay.  i’m still feeling broken and battered, but that’s okay, too.  i’ll be all right — and, one year soon, i will be in japan when the sakura bloom.

“Is This Shovel a Real Shovel?” from The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

-  Robert Schumann, Forest Scenes, Op. 82
VII.  Bird As Prophet (excerpt)

“Reiko’s Monologue” from Norwegian Wood

-  Paul McCartney and John Lennon, Norwegian Wood (Arr. Richard Miller)

-  Frederic Chopin, Etude, Op. 25, No. 1

-  Muzio Clementi, Sonatina in C major, Op. 36, No. 3

-  Claude Debussy, Clair de Lune

-  Edvard Grieg, Norwegian Dance, Op. 35
I. Allegro

“The Tale of Miu and the Ferris Wheel” from Sputnik Sweetheart

-  Wolfgang Mozart, Sonata in B flat Major, K. 333
I.  Allegro (excerpt)

-  Claude Debussy, Fireworks (excerpt)

-  Sergei Profokiev, Sonata No. 2 in d minor, Op. 14 (excerpts)
I.  Allegro, ma non troppo
II.  Scherzo, Allegro marcato
III.  Andante

went to a fantastic performance tonight called “murakami music.”  a pianist (eun-bi kim) and an actress (laura yumi snell) worked with a director (kira simring) to set some of murakami’s works to music, specifically the pieces above.  it started off with “is this shovel a real shovel?” feeling like a pretty traditional reading with a piano accompaniment, the music chosen and played very deliberately to go with the reading, and the pieces flowed organically from “is this shovel a real shovel?” — “reiko’s monologue” was slightly more dramatic, like a story not only being told but performed, and the set reached a wonderful climax with “the tale of miu and the ferris wheel,” which felt the most like a performance.

(during “is this shovel a real shovel?,” laura actually read from the book, the wind-up book chronicle — or held it in her hands and used it as a prop — while the two other stories were performed without the books.)

i really loved how these stories were set to music, and not only that but also how the whole thing was brought to life.  i honestly had gone in expecting someone to be reading while someone played the piano in the background, so i was very pleasantly surprised at how thoughtfully all the music pieces had been chosen and arranged and how the performances had been choreographed and staged.  the cell is a tiny, tiny theatre, but i loved the use of space — there was just a piano on the floor and a raised platform behind it, but they made very effective use of it with their movements and with the lighting.  also, costuming was great, too:  laura first started reading in a coat over an evening dress and heels, removed the coat between the first and second story, then removed the evening dress to reveal a shorter dress for the third story.  (she also changed her shoes at one point, but i forgot where, sorry!)  at the end of the third story, she undid her hair and brought the coat back into play — and i’d say what i liked best was that eun-bi and laura weren’t simply telling stories, but they were, in a sense, embodying the stories, really thinking about what murakami was saying and how to express that through music and performance.

at the end, eun-bi and laura played a duet together (they’re both classically trained pianists, though laura switched to theatre), which was fantastic because, one, i love duets and, two, it felt like the ending credits of a film.  there was a q&a after, too, during which they talked about murakami, about being friends, about wanting to do more with this project, and i really liked how the tiny space made for a more intimate conversation where the audience was also able to engage with them.

all in all, it was an amazing night, and i’m so glad i went.  i really hope they continue to do more of these, and, now, i really can’t wait until murakami’s new novel is translated and published in english, and i want to read more of him, despite having felt a little lukewarm towards him recently.  i can’t deny that murakami has a very strong pull for me, despite said lukewarmness, and i’ve been wanting to buy the paperback of 1Q84 and read it again, so, hey, maybe i’ll get on that!

my week in california looked something like …

there was a lot of sun and a lot of green and a lot of sunshine, and i’d forgotten how sprawled out los angeles is and how bloody irritating la traffic is, and it was around 82 degrees on sunday, and i thought i was dying, that’s how badly i fare in any temperature north of seventy-six.  there was also a lot of eating as well as a lot of time spent with the illustrator friend and the superhero bud, which was exactly what i needed, and i got to see the i.f.’s work and ooh and aah over it, and, damn, it’s actually kind of ridiculous how talented she is.

i unearthed my psp, too, and got back on playing kingdom hearts:  birth by sleep, and i think i’ve been playing it for large enough chunks of time that i’m not sucking anymore, which is both amazing and also indicative of exactly how much i’ve been playing … i brought it back with me from california, too, except i left crisis core in california, which is dumb because crisis core is the sole reason i even bought a psp.  (although i’ll never actually finish crisis core; zack is one of my favourite characters from final fantasy vii; and i can’t watch him die — i can’t!)

also went to a mika show, which i’ll recap in the next few days, which just reminded me that, man, i need to go to more shows, and, goddamn, i’m so sad i won’t be in korea this summer for ansan because, ugh, have you seen the line-up?!  and they’ve only done two announcements thus far!  i’m giving the valley rock festival one more year before i declare it the one rock festival i’d love to do annually if i could because the 2012 line-up was awesome, and this year’s is doing just as well.

and don’t laugh at the jack’s spicy chicken — there are no jack in the boxes in new england, and i would trade mcdonald’s, burger king, and wendy’s for jack in the box.  and in n out.  you just can’t beat in n out for price, sorry, but jack in the box might be my favourite — and, you know, i’m not the only one who craves jack in the box.  i had a humourous exchange with a girl in my section about how she and her boyfriend were contemplating driving nine hours from baltimore to north carolina for jack in the box.  i mean, i’m sure they would have done more in north carolina than eat jack in the box but still.  the sentiment is what counts because, oh, someone understands!  and she mentioned jack in the box before i did!

okay, but, anyway, tomorrow is easter, so, before y’all think i’m mad for being so excited over jack in the box, i’m off to bed.  i miss my mattress in california; i don’t know where mum bought our mattresses; but they’ve always been awesome.  but, yes, so california wasn’t all bad, and it did do me some good, but, ah, too bad it couldn’t have been everything it should have been.  i’ll be fighting tooth and nail not to have to return for the next xx-number of years.

photos taken as we were making our descent into jfk:  i love clouds.  clouds and skies.  they’re so majestic.

back in nyc now and feeling much relieved for it — i was excited to go back to california last week, thinking it would be good to get away from the city for a week, to rest and recharge, except i’ve come back feeling much more battered than i was before i left.  breathing easier now, though, now that i’m back in the city, but i miss the superhero bud and the illustrator friend — seriously, if i could get them both out here, too, my life would be perfect.

got zero editing done over my week in california, but that’s okay — there needs to be some distance between the writing process and the editing process so that my brain can get out of writing mode and get into editing mode.  i’ve got one more story i’d like to write for another contest, but, other than that, april will be all about editing, and i’m excited for that.  my collection requires so much work, and i can’t wait to see how she turns out!

but, for now, i shall sleep and head into the city tomorrow and try to recalibrate myself.  feeling a little sad right now, too, because i did have a great time with the superhero bud and illustrator friend and i miss them both keenly, and also because i’ve kind of walked away from california this time thinking that it’ll be a long, long while until i go back and, if or when i do, it’ll be on much different terms than i have now.  california has ceased to be a safe zone — or, well, it honestly never was, but, now, there are no illusions about it.

aausten